


Feelins Jam

by childishPoultrylord



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 16:12:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishPoultrylord/pseuds/childishPoultrylord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan wants to talk to Equius about Feferi, and then manages to be a spectacular tool in Eridan's very special way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelins Jam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainbowBarnacle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowBarnacle/gifts).



> Happy birthday, rB!

Equius was mildy confused when the sea dweller first asked if it was alright if he stopped by Equius's hive to, "hang out." Equius was usually one for propriety and respecting the separation of land- and sea-dwelling trolls, but when Eridan promised to bring over a case of a particular off-world import that he happened to enjoy, he decided that maybe it would be okay if Eridan came over, after all, so long as he entered through the door at the cliff base. No need to encourage Vriska to invite herself over and, well, be herself.

It all became clear, however, when the threshold klaxon went off and Equius rode the elevator down to the cliff-side door to greet a very wet, very droopy sea troll. Eridan had dark circles under his eyes, and it appeared that his ocular decorative make up had managed to smear despite its probable water-proofing. Eridan's slump was pronounced by the great shoulder pads of the cape he was wearing, his head looking as if it stuck out from the middle of his chest. They rode the elevator back up to the hive in relative silence, Eridan cradling the recycled tree-pulp packaging of the off-world brew in his arms as the machinery clanked in their ascent.

"Eq, how the glu- no. How the fuckin' hell do moirails work?"

Equius was not surprised this was the topic of choice. Things with Eridan tended to eventually come around to being about the Heiress. Equius sighed as he took the cape off Eridan's shoulders and hung it up on a hook that would otherwise be used to hang robots in storage. Its previous occupant lay in pieces in the corner of the room. He took the brew from Eridan next. "I presume you and Her Highness have had another quarrel?" He said. Eridan sighed and slumped down into a nearby chair. Equius stiffened, a sudden sweat beginning to excrete itself from his considerably productive pores. "Sea dweller, please. Let us make it to the recreation block before we sit down and talk." Eridan looked at him in surprise, mildly offended at being just, "sea dweller," and then looked around the room.

"Ah, yeah, the basement ain't exactly a good place to be havin' one a these feelin's jam things. Sorry." Equius had never heard such a tone of resignation in the sea dweller’s voice before. Eridan lurched up out of the seat only to overbalance. Equius moved to catch him as Eridan stumbled forward, dropping the box in his arms. The case of off-world brew fell to the ground and the packaging held together, but Equius could see the hole in the case now, and that there were a few bottles missing from within. Ah. He looked down at the troll in his arms, now picking out the tell-tale signs of minor intoxication from the sea dweller's face that he had missed before.

"Sea dweller, how much have you had?" His tone was surprisingly gentle, and it caught Eridan's attention. Eridan looked up at Equius's face, and inhaled as if to speak. That's when he realized that Equius's arms were constricting him with idle strength.

"Mother Grub fucking shit, Eq, I can't breathe!" Equius panicked, letting go. The sudden lack of support sent Eridan tumbling to the floor.

"Aurthour! Fetch me towels and a glass of milk," Equius yelled out to the butler - somewhere in the house, he wasn't sure - as he leaned down to help Eridan off the floor. Eridan waved him away, cursing as he stood up. "Sea dweller, I am most apologetic, I was not paying attention to how hard I was squeezing you when I caught you. Did I harm you?" Equius kept trying to step in to check on Eridan, but Eridan kept waving him away.

"No, Eq, really. I'm fine. Just point me to your bathroom, and I'll be fine." Equius frowned, but acquiesced.

"Right this way."  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mother Grub, you did a number on me, you big lug," Eridan mumbled to Equius, who could not hear Eridan from outside the bathroom. Eridan, shirtless, poked at the darkening patches of purple on his biceps, hissing as his finger pressed into the bruise. "You could a fuckin' squeezed me into fish paste."

"Are you perfectly sure you're okay? I know how very strong I am, and it's a bit," there was a pause, "hard to control if I'm not making a conscious effort to do so. If I did you any harm, I cannot express how truly sorry I am." Eridan sighed.

"Eq, I said I'm fine. It's just some bruising." Eridan immediately regretted saying that. He could hear Equius fretting through the door, and then the crunch of metal followed by a soft, "fiddlesticks!" Probably crushed a robot in panic. He knew a veritable flood of sweat would beginning creeping under the door if he didn't act to quell the panicking blue-blood. He sighed and opened the door, letting Equius in.

"I'm sorry, I tried to come in previously, but I, uh," Equius said, gesturing to the door. A crushed mass of brass stuck out of the door, where Eridan knew a doorknob had been previously.

"Oh." There were splotches of blue on the metal. He looked at Equius's hand, where blood was beginning to drip from gashes on his fingers and palm. "Oh, damn it, you big idiot, look what you've done to your hand!" Eridan grabbed Eq's wrist and pulled it closer to him so that he could inspect the wounds. He could see tiny reflective bits buried into the skin around the wound. It was hard to keep a grip on the sweat-slick skin of Equius's wrist.

"It's nothing to be concerned about, Sea dweller, I've done worse to my hands." Eridan ignored him, going back into the bathroom to dig around for medical supplies of any sort. "Eq, you got any a them little pinchy things?"

"Tweezers?"

"Yeah, them."

"Up on my workbench, in my room. There are also lengths of cotton bandaging material in a box on my wall." Eridan was halfway up the stairs before Equius asked, "why not let Aurthour take care of it?" Eridan paused to think about that.

"I dunno. I feel like doin' it?" he said with a shrug. Equius watched him walk up the stairs, and then looked back at his hand. He began to sweat a little more.

That was awful nice of the sea dweller

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They sat on Equius's couch, Eridan hunched over Equius's hand with a pair of tweezers, plucking bits of metal out of the big troll's palm. They sat in silence, and it was starting to bother Eridan. He tried to think of a topic to talk about, and the first thing to come to mind was something he had noticed in Equius's room. Not that it was hard to notice.

"So, uh, you like musclebeasts?" Eridan knew the answer to that question already, having seen the, "art," in Eq's room, but he needed something to talk about. He couldn't stand Equius's heavy breathing and awkward sweating in silence. Equius perked up.

"Such exquisite creatures they are! Truly, they are exemplary examples of strength and grace," he said, nearly pulling his hand from Eridan's grasp in his excitement. "With pounding grace they thunder across the plains, sleek coat bearing a gentle sheen of sweat as they exert their equine forms exquisitely!" Eridan stared at Equius, flabbergasted and mildly disturbed.

"Yeah. Yeah, that they do. Sure." Eridan had to change the subject quickly.

"The-"

"How about we talk about the thing that I came over to talk about?" Equius, mouth still open, felt what little excitement he'd had building for a moment melt away. He'd been hoping that Eridan had actually been interested about the subject of hoofbeasts. Of course he wasn't.

"Then talk away, Sea dweller" Eridan flinched at Equius's words, a sharp tone to, "Sea dweller," that hadn't been so pronounced in previous iterations of the word. He scratched at the back of his head and looked away from Equius, his face flushing purple as he opened his mouth to speak.

"How can I be a better moirail?"

Equius was taken aback by Eridan's question. He had expected griping and whining, the norm for talking to Eridan about Feferi. Not a personal question on how to improve his person. At a loss for words, he waited for Eridan to say something else. Eridan sat and stared off into the room, anywhere but at Equius. Then he got up. "One moment, I need to get somethin'." He came back with the case of imports, opening one as he sat back down. He took a few gulps before reiterating his question, "I wanna know how I can be a better moirail?"

"Pardon me, Sea dweller, but I don't know if it's my pla-"

"I don't give a fuck, Eq, she won't have me as a matesprit and I don't want to lose her. How can I be a better moirail?"

Equius could only stare at Eridan, a feeling of eerie surreality washing over him as he watched the sea dweller drink from the glass bottle. Equius reached down and grabbed a bottle of his own from the case. He sat and began to drink from the bottle. They sat in silence, Equius thinking on how to respond, and it wasn't until Equius was halfway through his third bottle that he finally spoke.

"I'm not sure why you'd come to me for advice." Eridan perked up from the slouch that he'd been falling into.

"Because look at you," Eridan gestured to Equius with a sweep of his hand as he spoke. "Look at Nepeta! Look at the both of you." Equius's face was blank, emotionless. He looked down at himself, inspecting his arms, his legs, the bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"I do not understand what you are saying, Sea Dweller. I am looking at myself, and I'm seeing nothing that would make you want to come to me for advice."

"Not literally, you fuckin' dolt, figuratively. A fuckin' metaphor. Look at you and Nepeta, two of the most shinin' fuckin' examples of moirallegiance this corner a the sea ever seen. How the glubbin' fuckin' hell do you manage that?" the sea dweller gestured in a direction away from Equius, "her?"

Though Eridan was not specific with his question of, "her?" Equius knew what he was implying with that statement. How could he 'handle' Nepeta? How could he 'deal' with her? Equius got angry. Calmly.  
At first.

"I mean, seriously, the girl is nigh fuckin' retarded as it is, I mea-"

The glass bottle in Equius's hand shattered, and Eridan realized that he fucked up. He began to backpedal as quickly as he could.

"Oh cod, Eq, I didn't mean nothin' by it, I was just sayin'-" Equius was suddenly in Eridan's face.

"The first step, sea dweller, is respect." Eridan tried to back up against the couch.

"Eq, I'm so-"

"And I will teach you the meaning of respect."

Eridan was afraid, and then Equius's lips were crushing his into his teeth, and then he was very confused. After a minute, Equius pulled away, his glasses askew on his face. That's when Eridan noticed the flush of Equius's cheeks the unfocused gaze of his eyes.

"Holy shit, Eq, I didn't figure you for a lightweight."

"I am not a lightweight, sea dweller, my constitution is as strong," emphasis strong, "as the rest of me. I am merely angry and chemically assisted." Eridan shifted in place, trying to move from under the larger troll.

"Sounds like a justification a you bein' drunk." Eridan flinched as Equius lifted his hands, but then he felt the gentle press of fingertips against the sides of his head. He looked up at Equius, who was staring at him, eyes intense over the rims of his damaged sunglasses.

"If I were drunk, Eridan, I do not believe you would have much resembling a thinkpan at the moment." Eridan's eyes widened, and Equius thought it was out of fear. "Furthermore, I-"

"You said my name." Equius was caught off guard by Eridan's soft whisper, something he only noticed because he was paying too much attention to the sea dweller's mouth.

"What?"

"You didn't call me sea dweller that time, you actually said my name." There was too much emotion in Eridan's words for Equius to be comfortable with. His discomfort also made him notice his and Eridan's positioning on the couch, Eridan trapped underneath him, his knee between Eridan's legs, up against the inside of the sea dweller's thigh, where he felt something incredibly warm pulse within the confines of Eridan's pants.

"I, uh, yes. And?" Equius said. He was focusing too much on that heat against his thigh. Maybe the alcohol was affecting him more than he thought.

"I dunno, it was just reaching the point where I wasn't sure if you even knew my name. Thought maybe you'd only learned a me as 'sea dweller' and nobody thought to correct ya."

"You know perfectly well that isn't true, sea dwEridan." Confusticate that blasted heat between Eridan's legs, it was distracting him!

"Heh. Sea Dweridan." Eridan was not ignorant of the way that Equius's thigh was slowly creeping further between his legs, putting more and more pressure on what was most definitely his bulge. It twitched, and Equius's knee pushed against it more, making it shift in his pants closer to the edges of his nook. Eridan's face began to flush from more than just the alcohol, and he couldn't bring himself to look away from where Equius's knee was touching him.

"You understood what I meant." Equius had finally realised what it was his knee was pressing against, and he was beginning to enjoy how very lewd the whole situation was becoming. Tentatively, he pressed even further, and he felt it throb against his leg and suddenly it gave way, and Eridan moaned.

Eridan was suddenly off the couch and backing across the floor, panic on his face.

"Fuckin' hell, Eq, w-what are w-we doin'?" Equius was taken aback. "I came to talk to you about Fef, and then you're injurin' the shit out of the both of us, and then you're comincomin' on to me and I ain't even sure if it's some sort of black or red or just drunk. This is fuckin' confusin'."

"I, uh, am most apologetic, sea dweller," he saw Eridan look at him, and there was a pain in his eyes, a pain that shot right to Equius's bloodpusher. "Do you still, uh, want to talk?"

"You're soundin' like fuckin' Tav with all your, 'uhs,' and what have you. Lemme just pull my bulge outta my nook and yeah, we can talk." Equius's alcohol-induced flush turned into a full-on blush.

"Oh, uh, is that what happened?"

"Yeah, yeah that's what happened."

"That's incredibly," Equius paused, feeling a bit weird actually saying it out loud, "lewd." Eridan stared at Equius, before bursting out into laughter.

"You're the most awkward piece of shit, Eq. Wow." Equius forced himself to look away as Eridan began adjusting himself. Couldn't Eridan go to the bathroom and fix himself there?

"I haven't made an issue of it up until now, but I implore you to watch your language. It's ill-befitting one of your station to speak so crudely."

"Aha, oh, wow, Eq. You get bulgeblocked and suddenly you're turnin' pissy? That's fuckin' hilarious."

"I implore you." Eridan heard it - and Equius said it - as a command. Eridan did not take well to commands.

"How fuckin' dare you, Eq. Fuckin' tryin' to tell me what to fuckin' do, I could have you and Nep culled in an insta-"

"Get out." Eridan wasn't sure when Equius had moved, but the bigger troll -the much bigger troll - was suddenly looming over him. Eridan opened his mouth to speak, but Equius clenched his fist and Eridan could hear the bandage on Eq's hand rip. Eridan realized that he had overstepped his bounds.

"Shit shit shit shit, Eq, I'm sorry, I," Equius interrupted him with another iteration of, "get out," but Eridan kept on babbling. "I didn't mean nothin' by it, I just wasn't thinkin' when I said it, and the alcohol doesn't help any, Eq." Equius would have none of it, and he picked Eridan up by the shoulders, squirming and complaining. "Oh cod, Eq, don't kill me! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Yes, you are. Get out of my hive." Equius said as he gently put Eridan down in front of the door, gently opened the door, and gently pushed him out the door and into the rain. "I have found your company heretofore unobjectionable, to my great surprise, and until you brought Nepeta into it I would have allowed you to stay." As gently as he'd pushed Eridan, it was still a considerable amount of force, and Eridan found himself stumbling and planting himself face first into the mud. He flipped around before Equius could close the door.

"But-"

"If you want to be a better moirail, care about something other than your own ego."

"But-"

"Good night, Eridan."

"But-"

"Good night!" Equius slammed the door. Eridan watched it smash through the door frame and heard the screaming of twisting metal as the hinges gave way and the door flew off them, landing at his feet. Equius stood in the threshold, flabbergasted, clenching his fist. "Fiddlesticks." He stormed into the hive, and Eridan watched him go up the stairs. He stood up, and began walking away, trying to find a way down the cliff to the ocean. He felt a gentle nudging at his shoulder, and turned to find his lusus. It nickered a squeaky nicker at him, concern in its eyes.

"It's none a your business." The seahorse rolled its eyes and offered its saddle to him.

"Oh, thanks, I guess." Eridan climbed into the saddle, and the seahorse hopped off the cliff, soaring down to the bottom of the cliff and over the raging waters of the stormy ocean.

Nickerneigh.

 

"I ain't cryin'."

Pbbbbbt.

"What even is that sound? I ain't cryin'!" Eridan wiped his sleeve across his teary eyes. "I just got water splashin' me in the face, it's a natural reaction."

Nickernicker. His lusus left him to sit and think in silence for the rest of the trip back to his shipwreck of a hive.

It wasn't until they were halfway there that he realized that he was missing something.

His cape.

Still in Equius's basement.

"Fuck."


End file.
